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April 25 稍安勿躁最近好像很浮躁,心里总是觉得不太踏实
可能是未来的不确定性太大了
我知道绝对不能再这样下去了
对自己,对别人都不太好
一定要坚持,熬过这几天,
也许就是另一片天空了
刚刚看了同学的博客,小姑娘都变得坚强了
虽然我这人看上去不太会让人联想到坚持
但是窃以为我应该还算是有点坚强的人,不能算很脆弱吧
尤其是被丢到上海这个地方之后,虽然没有父母在身边,会没有归属感
但是我喜欢这种感觉,喜欢看到自己的成长,这一切也是值得的
希望以后能够变得更加的坚强! April 05 不开心情绪低落
只有每天跟杨和豆豆一起吃饭的时候才会暂时抛开烦恼
外表看来像是没烦恼的我
事实上,已经精疲力竭了
跟爸爸打电话的时候,说着说着,眼泪就流下来了
挺对不起老爸的,有的时候他还得忍受我的牢骚
我也不想让他操心的
我必须选择放弃我原来所一心想要追求的东西吗?
February 26 为什么陆涛不爱米莱,很经典,很深刻…… 如果徐志森早出现一点,也许陆涛就不会爱上夏琳,骨子里陆涛在米莱面前是自卑的,他不了解米莱,他觉得富家女就活该被她们坑骗,他也不爱米莱,因为他们不在一个世界。
杨晓云和向南租房子的时候,说起俩人小时候都有过的四合院生活,说槐树和枣树。可是陆涛和米莱,从来就不可能有共同的相似经历。 在陆涛越来越像徐涛的时候,夏琳开始茫然失措了,她发现这个男人对她说,买车别忘了驾驶本写你的名字,她愤怒了,因为他变得和那些夜总会的男人再也没有什么不同,她发现他慢慢地远离了他们的世界,不再是一起的时候相互抱怨工作不顺心,而是他功成名就,而我只是个一无所成的业务员,他买了独栋别墅,我却还一无所有。 这样的感觉,何曾不是陆涛有过的,米莱可以一下子花掉一个大学男生一个月的生活费,可以开跑车上学,可以一下子玩一样的租下一套房子,这对于陆涛,太陌生。 米莱开A3,陆涛开A4,那个时候他们开始可以举案齐眉。 然而,人的性格一般取决于基因,另一半是最初的记忆。 心理老师告诉我,一岁看大,三岁看老。 后来我终于明白,基因来自上一辈的阅历生活组合,最初的记忆便是他们奋斗来的环境。 鸟类是有印随的,他出生的第一眼看到谁,就把谁当做妈妈。 陆涛越来越像徐涛,但是他始终还是陆涛。 他不是生意人,他像陆亚迅多过徐志森,徐志森是商人,陆亚迅只是做自己的本职工作,建筑。 陆涛只是想做建筑,只是他更希望距离成功近一些。 最终陆涛还是陆涛,他选的不是灵仙儿,也不是米莱,因为他本质上不是有钱人,他又一无所有了。 他永远不是徐志森希望的徐涛,尽管曾经多相似。
门当户对四个字很老,却真的有道理。 我们曾经都像是乌托邦里平等的个体,在不同的环境和基因作用下有了不同的人生。 成长的第一步就是接受这个世界的纷繁复杂,个体的多样性。并且在了解这个世界的复杂之后,一样的坚持自我。 February 05 祝福奶奶去世了,当时听到这个消息的时候我是有些震惊的,记得还不到半年前看到她的时候,她还是个能吃能睡的老人
后来春节回家,跪在奶奶的墓前,对她说了“对不起,我没有回来”
就在那天晚上,趟在床上,我哭了很久,脑海中不断浮现着奶奶的影子
这样一个倔强的老人,我知道她最后肯定是不开心的,从而她选择了自我放弃
我想她是累了,也许这样也算是一种解脱吧
我祝福奶奶,希望她在另外一个世界能够过得幸福
December 24 Merry Christmas圣诞节到了,眼看着一年又要过去了
回顾一下,我来财大也有一年多的时间了
认识了新的同学,来自五湖四海的人带来了更多的地域差异
结识了新的朋友,遇到了很多优秀的人,从他们身上也学到很多
接触了新的老师,也许从此颠覆我对大学教授一贯的印象,原来他们也可以这么年轻,这么有活力
倾听了新的讲座,在短短的几个小时内能够汲取大师研究或思考的精华,这种感觉是充实
感受了新的人生,人只有在挫折中才会进行更为深入更为理性的思考
最后,祝爸妈和所有的朋友都圣诞快乐!!
November 24 我正努力着
自从开始写日志以来,发觉自己变得更敏感了
理想v.s.现实今天看了Robin的博客,引发我的很多思考:
人生到底追求的是什么呢?我在乎的到底是什么呢?
人是应该有一些理想的,就像我的一个同学的签名“Obama一个有梦想的人,在能够追梦的地方,实现了他和他们的梦想”
对Robin的坚持,他对自我理想的坚持,对自我探索的坚持,对自我认识的坚持,对自我成长的坚持,我是非常佩服的,并不是每个人都有这样的勇气放弃已有的在别人看来还不错的东西去追求那些未知的东西。
也许对他来说,人生的追求就是一种经历,在这些经历中,他不断的了解自己,认识自己,不断明确自己的目标,而在向这个目标不断靠近的过程中,他也获得自我的满足。
我想我也是这样的一个人,在不断的提升自我的过程中,我得到了一种满足,这也是我所在乎的,想让自己成长,想要弄清楚很多问题,不想放弃自己的理想,可总是要面对现实,在现实中也许我对理想的热情会慢慢的磨灭,这是多么可怕的事情,觉得自己不够坚强,也不够执着。
看到那些追求理想的人,觉得很欣赏,因为从他们身上可以感觉到一种对生活的热情和无处不在的睿智,而这些正是我害怕失去的,有个同学对我说“人总是对别人的要求比较高”, 当时听到这句话,心里是有点触动的,感觉好像是在说我,而我呢?我是这样的人吗?也许是吧。应该也不能说人总是对别人的要求比较高,应该说人总是欣赏那些做到自己很难做到的事情的人。
以前父亲在我的眼中是无所不能的人,现在呢,我还是很感谢他,他给我的有些教育是以后所受的任何教育都无法替代的
只不过,渐渐的,发觉父亲并不是无所不能,甚至觉得他并不是一个生活的勇者,他也选择过逃避,选择过得过且过,否则我觉得父亲应该有比现在更高的成就
但是,我理解父亲,真正做到生活勇者的人又有几个呢,鲁迅之所以会在他的文章呐喊,用最激烈,最讽刺的文字来唤醒国人沉睡的意志, 可见要做到不随波逐流是多么困难的事情。
以后,我希望在我人生的道路上, 我能够一直坚定的走着,不放弃! November 04 累呀现在唯一的感觉就是好累呀
脑子确实是在不停的转
没有学过的东西还有很多
看到他们的生活,也许物质条件很好, 但是生活并不自由
为什么人总是不能鱼和熊掌兼得呢
我想我以后工作了,也会怀念学校的生活
简单并快乐着
衣着朴素但是舒服,
路边摊也会觉得吃得很开心
以前小的时候就盼望着长大,
可是现在已经回不去了
人总是想着不在自己手上的东西 August 28 Sex and the CityAfter talking about ‘Sex and the City’ that night, I really want to write something about it, because I really love it. There are four women living in New York City. All of them are beautiful, sexy, have a decent job, and earn a high salary, but meanwhile, they all have suffered failed relationship many times, and are still single at the middle of their thirty’s. Though they own each other, I can feel their loneliness in such a big and prosperous city, where you are not going to be surprised by anything, and it is also very hard to trust anyone else. What you have to do is to be tough, hide your weakness, and weapon yourself. All of the four, I think, are brave. They are brave to pursue their true love, they are brave to get out of the life they don’t like, they are brave to end a relationship when they find there is no way to work out, at least to themselves. Carrie is a column writer, and the name of her column is ‘Sex and the City’, which named the show. She has a very complicated relationship with Mr. Big. I think Big does love Carrie, but he is not as brave as Carrie, or we can say that, Carrie is just like a wild horse, it is not that easy to domesticate it, and he doesn’t have that courage. Fortunately, at the end, he finds out Carrie is the one all the time. We can’t say it is anyone’s fault, but there is always someone who is not very sure about what he/she needs, and it must take him/her some time to realize what is the most important in life; I must be that kind of person. Samantha is a public manager. Maybe she is too open to be accepted by us, but she is the one I like the most. She is very strong, optimistic, very sincere to friends, and she never forces herself to do anything she doesn’t like. The words impress me most is “I love you but I love myself more; I have been with you for 15 years, but I have been with myself for 49 years”. She always knows when to say ‘quit’, so she can live freely and easily. Her comparative steady relationship is with an actor, and it doesn't come easlies. Samantha once helped the man to turn into a big star, and the man was there supporting her when she got a cancer. After so many things, we are happy that she finally finds the one. Shallotte is running a gallery; her standards about men are just like her standards about art: everything must be perfect. She came across her Prince Charming incidentally, who became her first husband. Sometimes God likes to play some jokes on you: she is so willing to have a baby, but she has some problem on having it. Eventually they divorced, because her husband is so mother’s boy, and her mother-in-law is a very rigor and unreasonable person. Her divorce lawyer, who is bald-headed, fat, falls in love with her. She feels very happy to be with him, though he is complete not the type she thought she would fall in love with. Maybe it only happens in drama, but we can think about our life. Girls always like to describe a lot about the one they will fall in love with, but happiness is the most important thing. Just like buying shoes, beautiful shoes are always very attractive, but comfortable shoes are the ones you wear most. Miranda is a lawyer. She impresses me most is her critique. She married a guy who worked in a bar. General speaking, a family can be more stable when the man is more successful than the woman, at least as successful as. I can’t say their family is stable, but human beings can be moved. He did a lot for Miranda, and Miranda changed a lot for him. Maybe she doesn’t love him most, but she can’t find one who is willing to do more things for her than he does. ‘Sex and the City’ is talking about four women’s lives, but we can see a lot of ours in them, that’s why people love it. August 08 好女人是一所学校
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