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    December 16

    Loneliness

    Loneliness
     
    Listening to those songs, a strong feel of loneliness come to me, and it fills up my mind, which makes me want to cry.

    There is loneliness in solitude; there is also loneliness in a crowd. You are lonely not because the world keeps away from you, but because you keeps away from the world.

    There is loneliness when you lose; there is also loneliness when you gain. You are lonely not because your hands are empty, but because you don’t know what you really want.

    There is loneliness when you are outside; there is loneliness when are home. You are lonely not because where you are, but because you don’t know where you belong.

    There is loneliness when you cry; there is also loneliness when you smile. You are lonely not because of your emotions, but because you have nobody to share them.

    Loneliness is not a state of life, but a state of mind.

    You always have wills not to be lonely, but what you don’t always have is the ability not to be. You are lonely because you are self-humiliate, you give up and you are weak.

        The way you treat others is the way they treat you back.
        
        If you have no love for others, no one will have love for you, even if they do, you can’t feel it at all. If you have no love for yourself, you must the most pathetic person in the world; cause from that moment on, a lot of things will go away from you. If you can’t even cherish yourself, then what else will you cherish in you life?

        I have read a saying in a book that living a happy life is a ability, and I come to agree with this saying gradually.

        Don’t wait happiness to fall from the sky, cause it only happens in movies; happiness is always there in your life, the problem is you can’t grasp them.

        Love others; love the world; love yourself.

        Accept yourself just as who you are; express yourself and be yourself.
     
     
     
     
     
    November 24

    我正努力着

     

           自从开始写日志以来,发觉自己变得更敏感了

    不管是对别人,还是对自己
     
    看了别人的日志,洞悉了有些东西,也许是平时根本无法知道的
    感觉变得更细腻,因为所有的事情发生都是有理由的,而从这些文字中,你便可以理解到很多
     
    写下了自己的体会,这才是完整的人生
    老了之后,看了这些文字,你仍然可以回忆起一路走来的心路历程
     
    曾经的我一直都是往前看,很少回忆
    关注自己过多,而错过了身边朋友的很多
    在别人看来,我是那种还不懂得关心别人的人
    还曾觉得委屈,但事实上,我就是这种人
     
    现在感觉自己变了一些
    以前一直觉得自己很迟钝,其实是在给自己找借口
    别人的一句话惊醒了我“不是你迟钝,而是你不愿意去”
    说得很对, 不得不承认,确实是这样
     
    人与人的沟通需要花心思,人与人的感情也需要认真的经营
    真的去做了,才发现自己以前是多么的可悲
    为什么这么简单的道理到现在才能够明白
     
    我正在努力着
    我努力地走进别人,也让别人更了解我
     
     
     
     
     

    理想v.s.现实

    今天看了Robin的博客,引发我的很多思考:
    人生到底追求的是什么呢?我在乎的到底是什么呢?
    人是应该有一些理想的,就像我的一个同学的签名“Obama一个有梦想的人,在能够追梦的地方,实现了他和他们的梦想”
    对Robin的坚持,他对自我理想的坚持,对自我探索的坚持,对自我认识的坚持,对自我成长的坚持,我是非常佩服的,并不是每个人都有这样的勇气放弃已有的在别人看来还不错的东西去追求那些未知的东西。
    也许对他来说,人生的追求就是一种经历,在这些经历中,他不断的了解自己,认识自己,不断明确自己的目标,而在向这个目标不断靠近的过程中,他也获得自我的满足。
    我想我也是这样的一个人,在不断的提升自我的过程中,我得到了一种满足,这也是我所在乎的,想让自己成长,想要弄清楚很多问题,不想放弃自己的理想,可总是要面对现实,在现实中也许我对理想的热情会慢慢的磨灭,这是多么可怕的事情,觉得自己不够坚强,也不够执着。
    看到那些追求理想的人,觉得很欣赏,因为从他们身上可以感觉到一种对生活的热情和无处不在的睿智,而这些正是我害怕失去的,有个同学对我说“人总是对别人的要求比较高”, 当时听到这句话,心里是有点触动的,感觉好像是在说我,而我呢?我是这样的人吗?也许是吧。应该也不能说人总是对别人的要求比较高,应该说人总是欣赏那些做到自己很难做到的事情的人。
     
    以前父亲在我的眼中是无所不能的人,现在呢,我还是很感谢他,他给我的有些教育是以后所受的任何教育都无法替代的
    只不过,渐渐的,发觉父亲并不是无所不能,甚至觉得他并不是一个生活的勇者,他也选择过逃避,选择过得过且过,否则我觉得父亲应该有比现在更高的成就
    但是,我理解父亲,真正做到生活勇者的人又有几个呢,鲁迅之所以会在他的文章呐喊,用最激烈,最讽刺的文字来唤醒国人沉睡的意志, 可见要做到不随波逐流是多么困难的事情。
    以后,我希望在我人生的道路上, 我能够一直坚定的走着,不放弃!
    November 04

    累呀

    现在唯一的感觉就是好累呀
    脑子确实是在不停的转
    没有学过的东西还有很多
    看到他们的生活,也许物质条件很好, 但是生活并不自由
    为什么人总是不能鱼和熊掌兼得呢
    我想我以后工作了,也会怀念学校的生活
    简单并快乐着
    衣着朴素但是舒服,
    路边摊也会觉得吃得很开心
    以前小的时候就盼望着长大,
    可是现在已经回不去了
    人总是想着不在自己手上的东西
    August 28

    Sex and the City

    After talking about ‘Sex and the City’ that night, I really want to write something about it, because I really love it.
          There are four women living in New York City. All of them are beautiful, sexy, have a decent job, and earn a high salary, but meanwhile, they all have suffered failed relationship many times, and are still single at the middle of their thirty’s.

          Though they own each other, I can feel their loneliness in such a big and prosperous city, where you are not going to be surprised by anything, and it is also very hard to trust anyone else. What you have to do is to be tough, hide your weakness, and weapon yourself.
          All of the four, I think, are brave. They are brave to pursue their true love, they are brave to get out of the life they don’t like, they are brave to end a relationship when they find there is no way to work out, at least to themselves.
          Carrie is a column writer, and the name of her column is ‘Sex and the City’, which named the show. She has a very complicated relationship with Mr. Big.  I think Big does love Carrie, but he is not as brave as Carrie, or we can say that, Carrie is just like a wild horse, it is not that easy to domesticate it, and he doesn’t have that courage. Fortunately, at the end, he finds out Carrie is the one all the time. We can’t say it is anyone’s fault, but there is always someone who is not very sure about what he/she needs, and it must take him/her some time to realize what is the most important in life; I must be that kind of person.
          Samantha is a public manager. Maybe she is too open to be accepted by us, but she is the one I like the most. She is very strong, optimistic, very sincere to friends, and she never forces herself to do anything she doesn’t like. The words impress me most is “I love you but I love myself more; I have been with you for 15 years, but I have been with myself for 49 years”. She always knows when to say ‘quit’, so she can live freely and easily. Her comparative steady relationship is with an actor, and it doesn't come easlies. Samantha once helped the man to turn into a big star, and the man was there supporting her when she got a cancer. After so many things, we are happy that she finally finds the one.
          Shallotte is running a gallery; her standards about men are just like her standards about art: everything must be perfect. She came across her Prince Charming incidentally, who became her first husband. Sometimes God likes to play some jokes on you: she is so willing to have a baby, but she has some problem on having it. Eventually they divorced, because her husband is so mother’s boy, and her mother-in-law is a very rigor and unreasonable person. Her divorce lawyer, who is bald-headed, fat, falls in love with her. She feels very happy to be with him, though he is complete not the type she thought she would fall in love with. Maybe it only happens in drama, but we can think about our life. Girls always like to describe a lot about the one they will fall in love with, but happiness is the most important thing. Just like buying shoes, beautiful shoes are always very attractive, but comfortable shoes are the ones you wear most.
          Miranda is a lawyer. She impresses me most is her critique. She married a guy who worked in a bar. General speaking, a family can be more stable when the man is more successful than the woman, at least as successful as. I can’t say their family is stable, but human beings can be moved. He did a lot for Miranda, and Miranda changed a lot for him. Maybe she doesn’t love him most, but she can’t find one who is willing to do more things for her than he does.
      ‘Sex and the City’ is talking about four women’s lives, but we can see a lot of ours in them, that’s why people love it.
    August 08

    好女人是一所学校

     好女人是一所学校

      真正难能可贵的是,在经历了风风雨雨、是是非非之后,仍能保持一颗明亮、真诚的心,仍能自信而从容地爱人,并且能从中享受到别样的乐趣。哭过的人,受过伤的人,追求过的人,尝试过的人,充满感激的人,才是真正懂得快乐的人。纯真的心是快乐的。

      好女人是恬静的

      在一部小说里,一位母亲临死前给女儿写了一封信:“孩子,妈妈尤其要提醒你的是,女人最大的敌人并不是贫穷和默默无闻,尽管这两点会让你深深地感到人生的乏味和无聊,但更大的敌人却是时间和岁月。当风华一过去,你定会知道踏实恬静的心态是笔怎样的财富……”

      就像跑马拉松一样,讲究生命的节奏是很重要的,只有游刃有余,才能收获幸福。而在这个问题上,名利心普遍较淡,重视生活质量和情趣,对世事较为敏感的女性,有着男性往往不很具备的心理和情智优势。

      可以说,在浮躁的世事中,好女人是苦夏里的冰茶,是寒冬里的热饮,让男人的头脑保持合理的温度。相反,一个躁动而不安分的爱人,却很可能使男人犯下致命的错误,许多落马的贪官就是死在了“贪内助”的手上。

      诗人说的好,最可爱的女人是力量和温柔的奇妙结合体,平衡而和谐。

      好女人是爱笑的

      我喜欢看喜剧,喜欢笑,也喜欢爱笑的人,如果有机会的话,我会娶一个爱笑的女孩。在我看来,两个爱开玩笑的人,成为一对夫妻,戏笑人生,任何问题,两人都能三言两语化解开。即便是“北半球”下雨,“南半球”也仍然可以是艳阳高照,想避暑,或者想晒太阳,都有地方去。

      一般来说,一个爱笑的人,多半也是心理健康、宽容乐观的人。和她在一起,你不会有太大的压力,你能够真正的放松,而这对一个男人来说是至关重要的。从人性的角度看,当人痛苦、疲惫的时候,总是倾向于看轻松幽默的节目的,大概很少有人会在这个时候喜欢看令人压抑的、悲伤的节目。总有一张笑脸在身边,真的是一种福气。

      人在争取个人成就和价值时,是需要有人鼓励他们继续向前的,特别是当他们遇到阻碍时,知道有人会在背后支持他们是非常重要的。这个时候,一个信任的眼神和一张灿烂的笑脸要比一张忧郁的脸更能给男人以莫大的安慰。许多时候,只要身心能放松下来,生活就会出现转机。

      人是需要一种牵挂的,如果在你的身后始终有一双明媚而充满眷恋的眼睛在为你祝福、为你守候的话,无论前程有多么艰辛,相信你都会从容面对、无怨无悔。

      好女人能看到你的未来

      普京与妻子柳德米拉认识的时候,只是克格勃里的一个小人物,而柳德米拉则是一个漂亮的空姐。普京相貌平平,家境一般,靠的是什么打动她的芳心呢?还是柳德米拉的妹妹一语道破天机:“我姐姐早就认为自己的丈夫非同寻常。” 柳德米拉承认,“不知为什么,我总是相信普京会有当总理的一天。他目标明确,坚定不移,不是虚荣心强,而是有明确的目的,他总是为达到自己的目的而拼命地干,而且一步一步地实现。有人为金钱拼命干,而他是为了理想而拼搏。拼搏的过程使他感到愉快。” 柳德米拉对普京的肯定和预见令人感叹:你的爱人相信你会超过其他人,这是何等的动力和幸福?

      在这样的女性面前,你会懂得什么叫做风度,什么叫做智能,在很多方面,她都会成为我们的老师,她给你另一个视角看世界,给你更温暖的情怀包容冷漠,给你更聪慧的耳朵倾听真实的声音,让你在平心静气中感受到别样的豁达与真情。

      有女如此,夫复何求?

        好女人与你一起成长

      雪莱说过:“爱情就象灯光,同时照两个人,光辉并不会减弱。”两个人分头寻找幸福,可能会一无所获,但是一起来寻求幸福,他们将会寻找到两份幸福。爱的结果也是这样。

      爱情会使女人变美。记得有一个漫画,其中有这样一段对话---黑姑娘问白姑娘:“你最近皮肤变白了呀,是什么原因呢?”白姑娘羞答答地答道:“我恋爱了嘛。”同样的,爱情也会使男人变得孩子般快活。幸福的爱情能使一天等于一年,使人一生都保持心理的年轻。而这正是成长和成功的关键。

      “推动世界的乃是饥饿和爱情(席勒语)。”作为人的第二生命,爱情的真正价值,似乎就在于能增强一个人的全部生命力。爱是一团火,真正的爱情会使两个人同时感到温暖,而不是精疲力尽。

      许多伴侣走不了很远,或者走得很不顺畅,一个重要的原因是缺乏共同语言,缺乏同舟共济的生活体验。就像出生入死的战友情深一样,甘苦与共的感情是最经得起考验的,因为“一个人可能会忘记一起笑过的同伴,却不会忘记一起哭过的人”。

      爱情是一个相互培养的过程,因此遇见什么样的人并和什么样的人一起成长显得非常重要。我曾经碰到过一个很漂亮的女孩,但我觉得她身上有种很小气的味道,我便问:“你的男友是不是很小气?”她很惊异:“你怎么会知道?”我说:“一个人要是从花房走出,一定会带来一股花香。与什么样的相处久了,就会自然而然地感染上很多对方的气息。没有一个人会避免家庭和朋友的影响,更遑论心爱的人。”如果你能在人生的道路上遇到一个志同道合、能够提升彼此境界的恋人,那么请接受我的祝福,这是许多人找了一生都未必能找到的感觉。

      好女人让你不想“毕业”

      有人讲过这样一个故事:一个男孩对一个女孩说,如果我只有一碗粥,我会把一半给母亲,另一半给你。于是女孩子喜欢上了这个男孩。有一次村里发大水,男孩忙着去救别人,而没有去救女孩,别人问他为什么,男孩说,如果她死了我也不会独自活在这个世上。这一年女孩20岁,男孩22岁,女孩嫁给了男孩。闹饥荒的年月,两人只有一碗粥,他们互相谦让,都想让对方吃下去,结果一碗粥三天后发了霉。那时他们分别是40岁和42岁。当他52岁那年,因家庭成分不好被挂上牌子批斗,也已50的她心甘情愿地陪伴着他。她告诉他,无论有多大的苦多大的难,你是我生命中唯一的支流,我永远是你爱的源头。许多年过去了,他们成了70多岁的老人。在一次坐公共汽车时,有一位年轻人给他们让座,他们都不肯坐下而让对方站着,于是两个人紧紧靠在一起抓着扶手。这时车上所有的人都被这美丽而朴素的场景感染了,齐刷刷地站了起来,充满无限敬意的眼睛,仿佛看到他们心中的玫瑰花正在盛开,醉人的温馨里浸润浓浓的恋意……

      好女人会令你舍生忘死。在一部戏里,一个人的女友被困在火中,他呼喊着她的名字奔了过去,火太大了,人根本进不去。她对他说,“你走吧,不要管我。”但那个男子坚定地说:“我不会走的,我说过要保护你,一生一世。”结果,他冲进火海,把她抱在怀里,避免让火灼着她,就这么一直向前冲,然后就什么都不知道了。他醒的时候,她坐在我身边,泪流满面,心疼地说:“你看你烧成这个样子。”看着她没事,他反倒笑了,“我粗皮腊肉,怎么烧都这样,只要你没烧着就好。”……舍生忘死在这里被赋予了典型意义,而事实上,更多的 “舍生忘死” 则表现在日常生活的疼爱,出现矛盾时的让步,面临诱惑时的果决和为爱而放弃许多机缘。

      尽管如此,我们还是可以从这部戏里看到真实的自己,看到许多男人的心事。其实大多数男人对感情是看得很重的,很多时候,“潇洒”只是因为没有办法,如果有可能考入一所“好学校”,相信没有几个人会愿意从那里毕业的。

      其实,对女人来说,好男人又何尝不是一所学校呢?

      备忘录:

      所谓缘份,就是给自己所爱的人机会,包括为她守候。

                                               ----------摘自《学会站着睡觉》

     

    看了好朋友的这篇日志,觉得写得真是很好,决定偷过来了大笑